What's really going on, and how do I do it?
Looking around online, the most common answer given is a regurgitation of scripts. Words and actions given as an example of what to do...that's pretty useless, really. I can write my own dang script, and it would be a thousand times more meaningful to me.
The next most common answer given is the psychology behind ritual. This is important to know, and very useful. Knowing the mundane tricks you can use to better yourself is just as crucial as knowing the magical ones, and it's essential if you're working with other people.
However, I have yet to see a book, periodical, or website that offers some insight as to what is going on magically. I understand that it's a hard thing to describe. The terminology differs from person to person, the experience is different for everyone, and some people just can't put feelings into words. However, for such an integral part of Paganism, there is very little information.
Hand gestures aren't magic. Visualization isn't magic. Holding a purple stone and chanting "universal love" while visualizing white light isn't magic. What is magic!?!
"What is magic" isn't the right question. Magic is the manipulation of energy towards a goal. I'm not sure *what* the question is. (sigh) Ok, let me go over what I *do* know...
Like I said, magic is the manipulation of energy towards a goal. So, one must first have a goal. Ummm...how about getting a job? Basic and often used, ok.
Now, the psychology behind a ritual...I need to bring together things that suggest to me getting a job, and prosperity. Easy enough, get a green candle for thoughts of money, something brown to make me think of hard work and industriousness, maybe wear business clothes while I do the spell. I'm getting myself into the mindset of "having a job".
To further impress "job-ness" onto myself, I should probably script something to chant to myself while I'm doing this...let's say "I will have a good job soon. I am favored where I apply, and I will have a good job soon"...This should be polished into something more applicable, but you get the gist. I would say something like this instead of something like "I need a job", because "I need a job" is obvious and negative. You're trying to psyche yourself up.
Then comes in the magic bit. You need to raise and channel energy into this goal. This is the hard part. Visualization is one trick to it, but it's not magic itself. Most books seem to say that visualization is all there is to magic, but I *know* this can't be right.
This is difficult to put into words, and I'm sure I'm not saying it coherently. I'm going to keep trying, anyway.
You pull in energy from wherever, focus it and impress it with your goal, then release it. What else? There's a huge difference between visualizing magic and actually doing it...how do you separate them? That's not even the right question. Grrrr...this is so frustrating.
When I cast a spell, it works. However, I'm not sure how much of this is magic, and how much is me doing a really good job on the psychology part. I've been told that as long as it works, *what* is working doesn't matter...but to me it does matter. I feel like I'm just going through the motions sometimes, and that's not what I want. Is what I'm doing magic? Is what I call magic what everyone else calls magic? Is what I call visualization what everyone else calls magic? I don't even know what I'm asking.
As a solitary Pagan, I'm doing all of this on my own and it's frustrating as hell. Sometimes I envy you Coveners.
Update...
I have found a website that has given me much to ponder, and answered some of my questions. Please take a few minutes to visit Myriad of Enchantments
